Adaobi on Sunday

Tales of a Mom: How Time Flies (Part II)

I shared last Sunday about my mixed feelings on letting go of my son, as he prepares to be a boarder in secondary school. I also shared the feelings of another mother, whose major concern was how her child would cope with looking after himself if he goes to boarding school.

I indulged in some introspection as I sat in that waiting room: How much have I taught my son? How will he cope outside my watch? Am I really sure I want this new life for him? No one knows my son more than I do, and the other children may not understand him. My mind was also screaming out: You must let him go, as there is time for everything. This is the time for your son to begin on a path towards independence, to ultimately be a strong, independent character for the betterment of humanity.

The voice of another mother interrupted my thoughts: “I have three house helps and I am not paying them to just eat and sleep. It’s their duty to do my bidding and take care of my children because I’m a very busy woman.” There were gasps from most of the women standing around, and I looked at her with rage, wondering how one can replace motherhood with convenient child training, shifting all motherly responsibilities to domestic staffs. I also questioned if we empower the domestic staff with the necessary skills to either impact positively on our children, or impact negatively which ultimately will be the children’s and our own detriment.

I couldn’t get the words of my fellow mother off my mind, and I made up my mind there and then to be a present mum, who will do more to groom my son further in the act of self-caring and discipline, and to help blend in wherever he finds himself. To help him develop an independent, strong mind that will propel him to stand up for himself, and prove that it is possible to have house helps and yet be equally efficient to take care of himself, to subdue mama’s fears of not being able to do things for himself.

My prayer as a mother is that God should please in His great mercy, make up for what I have missed in my son’s upbringing, perhaps through weakness or neglect, so that at the end I may have raised a good human being for GOD and for the humanity.

Don’t forget to keep a date with me next Sunday.

Till I write again, I love you for reading.


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